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Who Framed Merida? Part 7 - Claire Finds Merida
(Later, Claire is seen heading up to her office when she sees an attractive man looking in a baby carriage. She thinks he is doing something naughty and rushes to him *Claire Dearing: Uh... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, wait a minute. Hey, hey! *(As Claire gets closer, it turns out that the man is actually lighting a cigarette holder for Rosie, who is inside the carriage.) Flynn: I've been trying to make her quit, but she just won't listen to me. *Rosie: What do you know, ya dumb brute? You got the I.Q. Of a rattle. You Claire? *Claire Dearing: Yeah. *Rosie: I want to talk to you about the Frizzle murder. Hey, psst. Hon, why don't you run downstairs and get me a racin' form? *(She then slaps him on the butt to send him going.) *Man: Okay, okay. I'm goin'. *Claire Dearing: A femme fatale, huh? *Rosie: My problem is I got a 50-year-old lust and a three-year-old tinky. *Claire Dearing: Yeah. Must be tough. *Rosie: Look, Claire, the girl didn't kill Mantis. She's not a murderer. I should know. She's a dear friend of mine. I tell you, Claire, the whole thing stinks like yesterday's diapers. Look at this. (Shows her a newspaper article) The paper said Mantis left no will. That's a load of succotash. Every toon knows Mantis had a will. She promised to leave Toontown to us toons. That will is the reason she got bumped off. *Claire Dearing: Has anybody ever seen this will? *Rosie: Uh, no. But she gave us her solemn oath. *Claire Dearing: If you believe that that jokestress could do anything solid, the gag's on you, pal. *Rosie: I just figured, since you were the one who got my pal in trouble, you might want to help get her out. I can pay ya! *(But Claire doesn't care. Instead she takes the carriage with Rosie inside and pushes it towards the stairs.) *Claire Dearing: Save your money for a pair of elevator shoes! *(Rosie and the carriage go down the stairs bumping and tumbling until her cigarette holder falls out.) *Rosie: Wah! (Crying) Wah! *(Claire enters her office and slams the door. She then looks at the newspaper article that Rosie gave her which reads "Toon kills Woman. Mantis killed at the hands of jealous princess." It features the picture of Radar and Mantis doing Patty Cake.) *Claire Dearing: It ain't my fault the girl got herself in trouble. All I did was take a couple of lousy pictures. *(Suddenly, while looking at the article, Claire notices something. She grabs a cup in a paper, opens a bag, grabs a magnifying glass, and the cup from paper pressing against the picture of Frizzle. Claire looks closer, and a piece of paper in Mantis's coat pocket. It is the will that Rosie was telling her about): Baby was right. *(Despite this, she just shrugs and forgets anything she saw.) *Claire Dearing: The heck with it. *(Claire then pulls down a row of drawers, which turns out to be a bed. Claire falls down on the bed and almost falls asleep when she comes face to face with Merida! Both Claire and Merida both scream at the sight of each other.) *Claire Dearing: How the heck did you get in here? *Merida: I thought it would be best if I waited inside, seeing's how I'm wanted for murder. *Claire Dearing: No kidding. Just talking to you could get me a rap. Wait a minute. Anybody know you're here? *Merida: Nobody. Not a soul, except, uh... *Claire Dearing: Who? *Merida: Well, you see. I didn't know where your office was. So I asked a newsgirl. She didn't know. So I asked the firewoman, the greengrocer, the butcher, the baker. They didn't know. But the liquor store girl, he knew. *Claire Dearing: In other words, the whole darn town knows you're here! Come on! Get out of here! Come on! *(She grabs Merida and tries to throw her out of the room, but Merida holds on to the door with all her might.) *Merida: Please, Claire, don't throw me out! You're making a big mistake! I didn't kill anybody! I swear! This whole thing's a setup, a scam, a frame job. Ow! Tammy, I could never hurt anybody. Ow. My whole purpose... in... life... is... to... ...make... people... Laugh! *(Suddenly, like a slingshot, Merida is flung around the office and lands right on Claire's bed. Claire struggles to get on top of the bed and manages.) *Merida: Okay, okay, sure. I admit it. I got a little steamed when you showed me those pictures of Radar. So I rushed over to the Ink and Paint Club. But he wasn't in his dressing room! So I wrote him a love letter! *Claire Dearing: Wait a minute! Wait a minute. You're telling me, in a fit of jealousy, you wrote your husband a love letter? *Merida: That's right. I know that he was just an innocent victim of circumstance. *Claire Dearing: I suppose you used the old lipstick-on-the-mirror routine, huh? *Merida: Lipstick, yes. Mirror, no. I found a nice, clean piece of paper. 'Dearest Radar, 'How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. 'One, one thousand. Two, one thousand. Three, one thousand. (She starts jumping on the bed while reading it, much to Claire's annoyance.) *Claire Dearing: Why didn't you just leave the letter there? *(While Merida is talking, Claire grabs her again and tries to throw her out but to no avail.) *Merida: Obviously, a poem of this power and sensitivity must... Aah! Be read in person. So I went home to wait for him. But the predators were there waitin' for me. So... So I ran. *Claire Dearing: So why come to me? I'm the gal that took the pictures of your husband. *Merida: Yeah. And you're also the gal that helped all these toons. Everybody knows when a toon's in trouble, there's only one place to go: Dearing and Carlyle. *Claire Dearing: Not any more. *(Merida's smile then turns into a small frown, and she begins to sit down in a nearby chair. Claire stops her.) *Claire Dearing: Get outta that chair! *(Merida gets out of the chair.) *Claire Dearing: That's my sister's chair. *Merida: Yeah, where is your sister, anyway? She looks like a sensitive... and sober... lady. *(Claire still doesn't care. She starts to touch the telephone.) *Claire Dearing: That's it. I'm callin' the cops. *(Merida, feeling dejected starts to leave.) *Merida: Go ahead. Call the cops. I come here for help, and what do you do? You turn me in. No, no. Don't feel guilty about me. So long, and thanks for nothin'. *(Merida then heads for a nearby door, but it is actually the closet. When she slams the door, books drop on her.) *Claire Dearing: That's the closet! Stupe! *(Claire stops trying to call the cops, and heads toward the closet to look for Merida. When she opens the door, all she sees is a detective's coat and hat. Suddenly, Merida pops out of the coat and speaks in a gruff voice.) *Merida: Claire Dearing! (She puts the cuffs on her hoof and Claire's hand) You're under arrest!(She then lets out her signature babble. Claire, using her side of the cuffs, flings Merida onto the bed.) *Claire Dearing: Get outta there. *(Merida lets out a mischevious smile. But Claire is still angry with her.) *Claire Dearing: Idiot. I got no keys for these cuffs. Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Scenes Category:Who Framed Roger Rabbit Parts Category:Movie Parts Category:Scenes Category:Transcripts